EsotericErin

Category: Tarot for Myself

  • New Year’s Eve Reading

    Happy New Year!

    I did a reading for my year in review. I did not create this spread, but I liked it so I used it.

    1. What can I celebrate?: King of Cups
    2. What have I conjured?: Queen of Cups, Reversed
    3. What continues?: 3 of Cups
    4. How do I find balance and expression?: Knight of Swords
    5. What am I thinking?: 9 of Cups, Reversed
    6. What is my passion?: 8 of Cups, Reversed
    7. Where am I grounded?: 2 of Wands, Reversed
    8. What have I changed?: 4 of Cups, Reversed

    The first thing I notice is the prevalence of Cups cards which I think makes a lot of sense because I’m a very emotional person, and that seeps into every aspect of my life and interactions with my surroundings. Secondly, many of the cards are Reversed; in my opinion the significance of all the Reversed cards is that I spent a lot of time looking inward this year. I’m trying to find my passion and get back to who I was or find who I could be which is a very personal path to take.

    The first card I drew was the King of Cups answering the question “What can I celebrate?” To me, the King of Cups is a sign that things I have invested my emotions in have matured. In 2017 I had a new baby and my husband and I were trying to figure out how to parent and fit in other aspects of our lives. In 2018, on the other hand, we were a little surer in our abilities to keep a tiny human alive, and we were able to see how we can be suitable partners for each other while also fulfilling parenting roles. The King of Cups is Air of Water (Kings are associated with the element of Air and Cups is the suit of Water), which brings a sort of cerebral quality to the emotions. I’m not so much detached as able to step back from emotions and bring reason to them. The Queen of Cups, Reversed, in the “What have I conjured?” position sort of brings the point from the King of Cups home. I feel as though it reinforces the idea that I can feel my emotions, but I do not have to be at their mercy. I’ve conjured a more stable, balanced viewpoint for myself.

    I have the 3 of Cups in the “What continues?” position and it’s a really positive card there. What continues for me is my support system. There are so many amazing people in my life that contribute to my wellbeing. I just know this is a reminder to cultivate those relationships and appreciate them. This concept continues with the next card because I am certain this relates to my husband (one of my staunchest supporters). The Knight of Swords is how I find balance and expression. I’ve mentioned before that I am a very emotional person. Well, my husband is very analytical; he’s logical and people definitely say he has a good head on his shoulders. Does he balance out my impulsive, emotion-driven actions and thinking? Absolutely!

    The 9 of Cups, Reversed, does reflect what I’m thinking these days. This card can be considered the wish card. I have had so many blessings bestowed on me and I am trying to be more grateful for the gifts I have been given, but all I seem to be able to focus on is the negative. It is important for me to realize the amazing things and people I have in my life and not take them for granted. My passion is represented by the 8 of Cups, Reversed, and I interpret this as needing to get back to what I love or even just looking for something I love. In the card, there is a figure walking away from the goblets, but when it’s Reversed I think it could be returning to what stokes my emotions and interest. I think the 2 of Wands, Reversed, shows me that I am grounded in the past. If this card were Upright, I feel it would show me grounded in the future like the figure on the card looking out at what may come. I don’t believe being grounded in the past is a good thing because I am stuck there a lot of the time. I don’t want to live like that which I think ties in to my interpretation of the 9 of Cups, Reversed, where I need to be more grateful for what and who I have in my life. Finally, we come to what I have changed–the 4 of Cups, Reversed. I’m trying to interpret this one, but I feel like it’s more about what I need to change rather than what I have changed. Maybe it’s my mindset that has shifted and now I just need to walk the walk because I’ve been talking the talk. Here’s hoping to a positive 2019!!!

    Peace and balance,
    Erin

  • 8 of Wands, Reversed

    I drew the 8 of Wands, Reversed, this morning to see what it could tell me about my day. The 8 of Wands can mean blockage and even marital trouble. Honestly, I didn’t think it would be a good day, but luckily it didn’t go so badly.

    Astrologically the 8 of a Wands is affiliated with Mutable Fire, the sign of Sagittarius, which happens to be the sign the Sun is in this time of year. I have difficulty with Fire signs sometimes because they seem so different from who I am. Mutable I can understand—Mutable Gemini is one of signs I’m on the cusp of—but I think Fire is so passionate and lively that it’s foreign to me.

    My day did not play out as negatively as I thought it might when I drew this Reversed card. There was no big discord between myself and my husband which was my fear. The feeling of being blocked is not a stranger to me these days so I suppose that’s what the card was picking up on.

    I’m also wondering if the card is signifying the end of my funk is near. I wonder this because 8 is near the end of the sequence of numbers in the pip cards of the tarot. Sure, I’m hoping to not feel so lost and adrift in life, but the blocked sensation leaves me with a feeling both oppressively full of despair and strangely devoid of emotion.

    Here’s hoping tomorrow brings something a little clearer to interpret and more positive.

    Peace and balance,

    Erin

  • Reading for the Week

    Recently I’ve been having trouble connecting to things (people, activities, even possessions), but I need to start trying to connect with things that once brought me happiness or might bring me future happiness. I’m hoping by returning to the act of reading tarot cards I will rediscover the joy they used to bring me.
    Today I cast some cards for the week ahead of me. The very first thing I notice is the number of sevens in this spread—3 of 5 in the deck show up here—which makes me wonder if this could be a week where I assess, and perhaps re-calibrate, my spirituality. I feel like three sevens are meaningful in a spread devoted to the seven days of the week.
    Sunday: VII The Chariot
    Monday: 7 of Wands
    Tuesday: IX The Hermit, Reversed
    Wednesday: 9 of Pentacles
    Thursday: 2 of Wands, Reversed
    Friday: XIX The Sun, Reversed
    Saturday: 7 of Pentacles, Reversed
    Sunday’s Forecast: My first seven of the spread and it’s the Major Arcana seven; to me, this is a very good start for the week! The astrological affiliation of The Chariot is Cancer, and, if you’ve read anything else on here, you probably know my birthday is on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer. I feel very drawn to this card today and I think it’s because I’ve been withdrawing from life because I’ve been feeling unsafe in some aspects of my life lately. Crabs withdraw into their shells when they’re threatened and that’s what I’ve been doing, however The Chariot makes me think of coming home where I feel protected, but can do things that empower me. I hope Sunday brings me the knowledge that I am safe and can do what I need to do in order to repair myself.
    Monday’s Forecast: The 7 of Wands as Monday’s card makes me dread Monday a little more than I usually dread Mondays. I go to work Monday afternoon which means my daughter goes to daycare, and both of those scenarios make me more than a little nervous. Our daycare provider is lovely! I’m so glad we found her, but I feel like I’m constantly doing things that inconvenience her. I doubt there are many people who enjoy upsetting people, but it physically affects me—I get headaches, stomachaches, I am constantly close to tears, etc. I think I’m scared that one day I will push her past her tolerance with me, and then I won’t have a daycare provider, and that will lead to my not being able to go to work, and I’ll be fired. See? That’s how my mind spins out. Although, I’m not sure being fired would be the worst thing to happen to me now that I think about it. I like my job, I just find it stressful and I’m not certain how stressful a part-time job should be, you know? Anyway, the 7 of Wands makes me wonder if Monday will be a day where I butt heads with someone and I will be unprepared for it. It’s interesting to me that I’m looking at the figure’s mismatched shoes because I work at a shoe store. Hopefully I won’t end up giving someone two totally wrong shoes!
    Tuesday’s Forecast: I drew The Hermit, Reversed, for Tuesday. Maybe I should invite someone over to the house? I like The Hermit in its Upright and Reversed positions for very different reasons. Upright it’s nice to get in touch with your spirituality, but Reversed makes me think of putting yourself out there and forging relationships with other people. It builds on the message of The Chariot in that I can feel safe to get out there and be social while knowing I have somewhere secure to go back to when my energy is spent.
    Wednesday’s Forecast: The second 9 of the spread—the 9 of Pentacles. Personally, I love this card and rejoice when it comes up for me because it gives me this impression of an independent woman who can tend to her garden and her hawk and still take care of herself. I don’t think of myself as a particularly independent person. I often rely on others for help and I would rather not taking a leading role much of the time. It’s based in fear again, I know it. If I put my all into something and it fails somehow, I feel like I have failed as a person. I would like for Wednesday to bring me more confidence in myself and my actions so when I go back to work on Thursday I’m not a frightened mass of pudding.
    Thursday’s Forecast: The 2 of Wands is the card I drew for Thursday. This is another card I like, but I think I like it better Reversed in this spread. I feel as though in the Upright position it’s about waiting for something and I’m tired of feeling like I’m waiting for something. I don’t even know what I’m waiting for anymore—is it approval? I know worrying about the future robs you of your present, and I’m always worrying about what could/will happen. However, with the Reversed appearance, I think about not waiting any longer. It makes me think things are happening, not just being anticipated. Hopefully what happens is good. *Edit to add: I’m reading about the 2 of Wands right now and rethinking my interpretation. I seem to have mixed up the Upright and Reversed meanings in my head. Which is fine–the cards can be interpreted however they strike you–I’m just wondering what it would look like if I had read the card as a delay in plans. Perhaps it would look more like going into work on Thursday and continuing to feel like I’m walking on eggshells. Not the most positive of interpretations, but maybe a more realistic one…*
    Friday’s Forecast: Another card in its Reversed position for Friday. The Sun, Reversed, has me thinking about The Moon if you can believe it. Sometimes when interpreting Reversed cards, it can be helpful to return to the lesson of the previous card which, in this case, is XVIII The Moon. I looked up what the lunar phase will be in my area on Friday and it’s the New Moon which is a perfect time to start something new and raise attractive energy. Maybe I should start something I’ve been putting off for a while. I always have high hopes for starting something new, but I usually end up putting ridiculous restrictions around it and missing the opportunity because it (or I) didn’t live up to expectations.
    Saturday’s Forecast: Here we have my final seven. The 7 of Pentacles, Reversed, is kind of a hard card for me to interpret. Often, I find myself unable to translate the expression on the gardener’s face. Is he bored? Or tired of working so hard? Or maybe he’s just standing back and allowing his crop to grow? I don’t know. If we go by a numerological interpretation of the number seven, he seems to be assessing what he has put his energy in to. But is he giving himself a passing grade or a failing one? Some keywords I have found for this card include shortsightedness and success that is limited. What kind of success am I looking for right now? If I start something Friday, of course my success will be limited… Hmmm… I’m noticing the mountains in the background of the card, maybe the success I’m looking for on Saturday will be limited because I still have the mountains to scale. Perseverance will be something to cultivate. Perseverance is not always my strong suit, but it would be good to learn.
    Looks like I have a dramatic week ahead of me (aren’t they all with me, though?), but if I remember that I am safe I can work through obstacles that come up even if the payout isn’t immediate.
    Peace and balance,

    Erin

  • 7 Card Spread

    I did a seven card spread last night because I’m trying to find my passions and strengths. I’ve been feeling blocked these past few weeks, but I hope getting back into things will reignite my spark. I deliberately did not use any Reversed cards in this spread.

    1. How am I tenacious: XV The Devil
    2. How am I dangerous: 7 of Cups
    3. What helps me find graciousness: 8 of Cups
    4. How am I gallant: VII The Chariot
    5. What makes me a survivor: The World
    6. What tears me apart: V The Hierophant
    7. What endures: I The Magician

    I notice there are a lot of Major Arcana cards in this spread which makes sense to me because I need to find my passion for things again in order to make my life feel more complete.

    My tenacity comes from The Devil which may feel immediately discouraging because who really wants to feel like The Devil. However, my interpretation in this spread is my bondedness is where my tenacity is rooted. I want to say something along the lines of “I make commitments, and I stick to them, and these are my bonds,” but this is not true. I think it’s more along the lines of being bonded to people and earthly pleasures. What makes me tenacious is I am free to be as flighty and airy in my pursuits as I want because of my attachment to the earthly plane. The 7 of Cups as my danger is totally appropriate tied in with The Devil—my mind goes off in so many directions it’s hard to know where to draw the line of what is possible for me to do and what is not. While I love being cerebral as well as imaginative, it can be dangerous to follow every whim, so it is wonderfully balanced by The Devil.

    The 8 of Cups helps me find graciousness while The Chariot feeds my gallantness. I almost wish these cards could be switched, but I have to take what I’ve been dealt. In the 8 of Cups, the figure is walking away from the goblets, and I think this resonates with me because sometimes I can be overbearing, and walking away from situations is the best option to maintain my graciousness. With The Chariot, my courteousness comes from my home and relationships. Cancer is the astrological affiliation of this card and I have an affinity for it because I’m on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer. I am able to be polite and well-mannered because my parents instilled those values in me, but also because I know I have support.

    The final three cards are all Major Arcana. I’m not surprised The Hierophant “tears me apart.” I see the Hierophant as the status quo and conforming, and I have never fit in well. Trying to meet others’ expectations whether real or perceived has done me real harm in my life, so this card is accurate. My world makes me a survivor. This is a theme that flows through the reading, no? My home, my family, what grounds me all help me survive. As for “what endures,” The Magician, is another accurate card. He is affiliated with Mercury, the ruler of Gemini. With Mercury in my corner, I know my love for learning and trying to understand will endure. I also note that in The World and The Magician cards both figures are holding wands which kind of unites them for me. To me, it shows that what “makes me a survivor” and “what endures” are linked.

     

    Peace and balance,

    Erin

  • Protection Spread

    I did a spread this evening because I wanted to start the week with a look at what protects me. I often feel exposed and vulnerable around others and this spread seemed to speak to me and offer me some insight.

    1. Am I open to the influence of others?: III Cups
    2. What energy surrounds me?: IV Pentacles
    3. Is there energy I must be aware of?: X Swords
    4. Who aids me?: IX Swords
    5. What protection can I count on?: VI Pentacles
    6. How can I ground myself?: V Cups
    7. What should I do to protect myself?: IV Cups

    The first thing I notice in this spread is the numerical sequence of the III, IV, and V of Cups. They’re not in order in the spread, but they are all there, and there is a notable absence of Wands cards. I’m going to do a write up as if I were doing one for a total tarot newbie. I want to get in the habit of saying everything as clearly as possible.

    Swords are the suit of Air and thoughts; Cups are the suit of Water and emotions; Pentacles are the suit of Earth and finances.

    I drew the 3 of Cups for the first position (Am I open to the influence of others?). My interpretation of this card in this position is that I am affected and influenced by others’ emotions. It may or may not be a good thing because it’s nice to be happy when other people are, but I do notice that if someone is in a bad mood, I am susceptible to that feeling, too.

    In the second position (What energy surrounds me?) I have the 4 of Pentacles. It’s hard to admit, but I can be very stingy. I like my things and I’m not always the best at sharing them.

    In the third position (Is there energy I must be aware of?) there is the 10 of Swords. I have battled anxiety and depression for most of my life, and I know this card is one of finality. I need to be careful of spiraling down into upsetting thoughts.

    I picked the 9 of Swords as the answer for position 4 (Who aids me?). It’s a stark contrast to the previous position and its meaning. I’m worried that the “who” aiding me is myself and my anxious thoughts. I know anxiety in small amounts is what keeps us sharp, but it’s confusing.

    For the fifth card (What protection can I count on?) I drew the 6 of Pentacles. I believe this means I can count on the generosity and kindness of others. I’m hoping I won’t need to rely on it solely, but knowing I have the support of others is a relief.

    The penultimate card I drew (How can I ground myself?) was the 5 of Cups. I am an emotional person, I know this about myself. I think that grounding myself will take some letting go of emotion. I know there are still two cups in the foreground and I should not dwell on the spilled cups, but rather focus on some emotions and not let everything cloud my judgement and get me too mired in my own feelings.

    I was given the 4 of Cups in the final position (What should I do to protect myself?). Protecting myself, I believe, will require taking my eyes off what I currently have and focusing on what else the Universe has to offer me.

    In summary, I think I can rely on others even when feeling alone: I have protection within and without. I can trust others will protect me and that, while sometimes it feels like my brain is working against me, it is trying to protect me; I just can’t let it overwhelm me.

    If you have any points I may have missed (it was a long day today), please, let me know.

    Peace and balance,

    Erin