When Someone Else Sounds More Certain Than You
Sometimes you can know something perfectly well until someone else tells you you’re wrong. You remember what happened. You know what you meant. You’ve thought about how you feel, what you need, or why something matters to you. And then someone else offers their version. They sound certain. They explain it differently. They tell you…
Keep readingYou Don’t Have to Know It’s the Right Choice
There’s a particular kind of discomfort that comes with making a decision when you don’t know how it’s going to turn out. You can think it through. Weigh the options. Ask people you trust. Make a list of pros and cons. You can consider every possible outcome you can imagine. And still, eventually, you have…
Keep readingSometimes Things Just Suck
We have a habit of looking for meaning when something hurts. What is this trying to teach me? Why did this happen? What am I supposed to learn from this? Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe. Sometimes. But sometimes something just sucks. Not everything that happens is a lesson waiting to be uncovered. Not…
Keep readingMaybe You’re Not Supposed to Be Over It Yet
There’s a strange thing that happens after something difficult. You feel it. Maybe you cry. Maybe you get angry. Maybe you finally admit that something hurt more than you wanted it to. And then, eventually, you have a good day. You make breakfast. Answer some emails. Laugh at something your kid says. Put the laundry…
Keep readingWhat If You Let Yourself Be Mad About It?
There is a particular kind of discomfort that comes with being angry. Not just the anger itself. The moment afterward, when you start wondering whether you’re allowed to be angry. Maybe it wasn’t that serious. Maybe they didn’t mean it that way. Maybe you’re being too sensitive. Maybe you should look at it from their…
Keep readingMaybe It Wasn’t Just the Dishes
There’s a story I see come up on Reddit every so often. A man writes about his divorce. The title is some version of: She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink. And at first glance, it sounds ridiculous. A marriage ended over a glass beside the dishwasher? Really? But that’s not actually…
Keep readingMaybe You Don’t Need to Feel Better Yet
Maybe You Don’t Need to Feel Better Yet I have a tendency to want to move on. Not necessarily because I don’t feel things deeply. Quite the opposite, actually. I can feel something very deeply and then almost immediately start looking for the way out. What’s the lesson here? What am I supposed to do…
Keep readingWhat If You Just Asked for What You Want?
I’ve been thinking a lot about preferences lately. Not boundaries. Not dealbreakers. Not the things that make us say an unequivocal no. Just preferences. The restaurant you’d rather go to. The seat you’d prefer. The shirt you like better. The way you’d like something done. The plan that sounds a little more fun to you.…
Keep readingWhen Accommodation Becomes Automatic
I’m pretty good at reading people. Not in a particularly mystical way. I notice things. A change in someone’s voice. A pause before they answer. The expression that crosses their face when something isn’t quite what they wanted. The difference between “that’s fine” and that’s fine. I’ve learned to pay attention to those things. Sometimes…
Keep readingWhen Did Their Comfort Become Your Responsibility?
Sometimes I hear myself apologizing before I know why. Sometimes it’s for interrupting someone. Sometimes it’s for asking a question. Sometimes it’s because someone else seems uncomfortable and, before I’ve had time to think, the word sorry has already left my mouth. The feeling is real. The apology is real. What I’m less certain about…
Keep readingThe Quietest Things Have Changed Me the Most
Sometimes I look back at the moments that changed my life and realise they weren’t dramatic at all. They weren’t the big decisions or the milestones people celebrate. They were quieter than that. A question I couldn’t stop thinking about. A sentence that stayed with me long after I’d finished reading a book. The moment…
Keep readingYou Don’t Have to Figure Yourself Out Alone
For a long time, I thought understanding myself meant reaching a conclusion. If I reflected enough… If I read enough… If I asked enough questions… Surely I would eventually arrive at the version of myself that finally made sense. I don’t think that’s what I was really looking for. I think I was looking for…
Keep readingThe Questions That Changed Me Didn’t Have Immediate Answers
There are a few questions that seem to return to me every year. Not because I haven’t answered them. Because I’m not the same person who asked them the year before. For a long time, I thought a good question was one that eventually disappeared. I assumed that if I reflected long enough, read enough…
Keep readingWhat Happens When You Don’t Rush the Answer?
I have a habit of wanting answers before I’ve really understood the question. Sometimes it looks like researching something for hours. Sometimes it looks like replaying the same conversation in my head, hoping I’ll finally arrive at the one perfect interpretation. Sometimes it looks like trying to solve a feeling before I’ve allowed myself to…
Keep readingWhen Did You Stop Believing Yourself?
Have you ever noticed how quickly we learn to question ourselves? A conversation ends, and we replay every sentence. A feeling surfaces, and we wonder whether we’re overreacting. Our body tells us something isn’t right, and we search for evidence before we’re willing to believe it. We notice. Then we doubt. Then we look outside…
Keep readingWhat If You Stopped Waiting for Permission to Exist?
Some of us spend years waiting. Waiting until we feel more confident. Waiting until we feel more certain. Waiting until we have everything figured out. Waiting until we become the version of ourselves we imagine we are supposed to be. Only then, we tell ourselves, will we begin. Only then will we take up space.…
Keep readingFollow My Blog
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.