EsotericErin

Category: Tarot

  • Welcome

    This is not a post about fixing anything.


    It’s an invitation to pause, to notice, and to sit with what’s present—without needing to resolve it.


    If you’ve found your way here because something feels off, unclear, or quietly resistant, you don’t need to name it yet.


    You’re allowed to sit with this.

    I don’t offer answers here.

    Not because I don’t have opinions, or experiences, or things I’ve learned the hard way; I do. But because answers, when they arrive too quickly, have a way of replacing something more important.

    Listening.

    This space exists for something slower than certainty. It exists for the questions that surface when you finally stop pushing through, the ones you might not have known how to ask because you were too busy coping, performing, or keeping things moving.


    If you’re here, there’s a good chance something in your life isn’t working the way it used to. You may not know exactly what it is yet. You might not have words for it. You might only have a vague sense of friction, fatigue, or quiet resistance.


    That’s enough.


    You don’t need a fully formed understanding to be here. You don’t need to articulate anything neatly. You don’t need to arrive with insight, or clarity, or a plan for what comes next.


    You’re allowed to sit with this.


    A lot of spaces promise resolution. They want to help you fix, optimize, heal, or transcend. Often, very quickly. Often with the best of intentions. But I’ve learned, both personally and through years of listening to other women, that rushing to make meaning can become another way of overriding ourselves.


    Sometimes the most honest thing you can do is admit, quietly, that something feels off, and stay there for a while.

    This is not a space for emotional bypassing. It’s not a place where discomfort needs to be reframed into a lesson, or smoothed over so it’s easier for others to digest. There’s no expectation that you move on, stay positive, or make your feelings productive.


    There is no requirement to be consistent. No urgency to get anywhere. No pressure to turn what you’re feeling into something useful.


    Insight can arrive slowly.


    I’m not here as an authority over your inner life. I’m here alongside you, holding space for inquiry without coercion.

    What you notice, when you notice it, belongs to you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for it, and you certainly don’t need to make it comfortable for someone else before it’s true for you.

    If this feels like an exhale, you’re in the right place.

    You’re allowed to sit with what’s present, without judgment or demand. You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to feel your feelings without having to justify them.

    Nothing needs to change right now.

  • Discover the October 23rd Healing Light Holistic Fair

    I am off to the fair!

    Given the pandemic our world has been battling since the beginning of last year, one of my favourite activities hasn’t been able to happen. In my current town, a group of amazingly talented and incredibly passionate individuals get together at a community centre and offer their services. I’ll be reading tarot.

    There won’t be as many people participating in this fair as other fairs we’ve had, unfortunately. We also have COVID-19 protocols we’ll be following that are in line with our area’s safety guidelines. It’s so important that everyone does their best to keep themselves and others safe in these uncertain times. Please, wear your mask and get your vaxx!

    2021-10-23T10:00:00

      days

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    until

    Healing Light Holistic Fair

  • 9 Sensational Archetypes

    9 Sensational Archetypes

    I have been in possession of 3 decks designed by Kim Krans for a while now because I love the imagery but haven’t been ready to use them until recently. There’s a quality of starkness to them, a no-nonsense feeling, that I wasn’t prepared to face. They’ve been calling to me lately, so I’m dipping my toe in to really get to know them. This post is specifically about the Wild Unknown Archetypes deck. I won’t touch on every single card because that would make for a long read; I’m going to write about some of the cards I had the most dramatic or surprising reaction to.

    The Orphan

    The imagery of this archetype makes me profoundly sad. In the very first card in the deck (The Mother), the snake seems coiled protectively around the egg/seed/pearl, but it is looser in the picture. That, combined with the little hand grasping for something it cannot reach, breaks my heart. This is a card signalling the need for compassion and welcoming acceptance of the whole, no matter how broken it appears.

    The Hunter & The Warrior

    These archetypes initially seemed extremely like each other to me in concept, so I had difficulty discerning why I had a more negative reaction to The Hunter until I read Kim’s meanings in the book. To me, The Warrior is more primal, it’s something less controllable, instinct from the lizard brain whereas The Hunter is more in line with “civilized society”. So, when I contemplate the idea they both participate in activities that end in death, I find it more frightening to think of the bringer of death presenting as someone innocuous.

    The Comic

    The black and white human eyes peering out from the ginger cat’s face spooked me. In addition to the cracks and splits in the face, those made the word “façade” spring to mind. I saw Robin Williams in my mind’s eye—someone who is hurting internally while externally committed to making others happy. By no means do I think everyone who appears jovial or wants to make others happy is depressed, but it’s a convenient mask.

    The Empty Room & The Castle

    Anyone who has ever walked past a jewellery store with me will tell you I’m a self-proclaimed magpie. It hardly came as a surprise to me to feel an affinity for The Castle and just as expected for me to experience apprehension when faced with The Empty Room. I don’t like being anywhere all by myself for an indefinite period. Being comfortable with aloneness without succumbing to loneliness is something I’m sitting with and working on.

    Kairos

    The amount of peace I experienced while looking at the Kairos archetype card was surprising. Time is a concept I’ve sometimes struggled with externally (it took me an embarrassingly long time to competently read an analogue clock) and internally (constantly ruminating over the past or worrying over the future as opposed to living in the present). Still, I feel I’ve come into temporal synchronicity in the past year or so, which helps me resonate with this card now.

    The Seed & The Stone

    For me, the emotions I experience when studying the images for these archetypes are two sides of the same coin. In the Seed archetype, we see the beginning and almost unlimited potential. In the face of unlimited potential, I freeze up—“If I have no ceiling for what I’m capable of, how will I know when I’ve reached where I need or want to be? How will I know I’m not just settling?”—and the potential can feel wasted before it’s even been tapped into. Eternity is offered by the Stone archetype and I am thrust into a crisis of worthiness. What can I offer that deserves to last forever?

    I reflected on time when I wrote about the impact the Kairos archetype had on me, which was vastly different from the emotions these cards stirred in me. Then I realized Kairos is bigger than just me. It’s everyone in all of time; while these archetypes are more personal, they’re tools that I have to rely on myself to use and use properly.

    No one is one single archetype, and it’s okay to be uncomfortable with archetypes you want to embrace more. I also highly recommend figuring out which archetypes you don’t want to embrace, or the ones you want to moderate within yourself. Possessions won’t make me less alone when no one else is home and they certainly won’t help me feel less lonely, but that doesn’t mean I can’t embrace the Castle archetype when presented with a sparkly necklace from my husband.

  • A Year in Review and A Year in Preview

    A Year in Review and A Year in Preview

    Happy New Year!

    I’m sure most of us are glad to see the other end of 2020, but it’s not as though all the world’s problems disappeared at midnight because the calendar page flipped. For my part, I want to take more responsibility for myself and my place in the world and encourage others to do the same. I bought myself the Biddy Tarot Planner for 2021 and used the spread suggested to close one year and open the next.

    While I was performing this exercise, I followed the advice in the Planner and sat with each question and answered for myself. I then drew all eight cards and interpreted them intuitively. When I read tarot, I usually read Reversed cards with different implications than their Upright counterparts; the number of Reversed cards that came up in this reading indicated that internal work was done and needed doing, which makes sense given the introspection and realigning I did this year. Here’s my “Review and Preview!”

    Review

    What were my biggest achievements in 2020?

    XXI The World (Upright)

    • Not only did the isolation I experienced not crush me mentally, but there were also actually times I felt my mental and emotional health was better than before these events.
    • I realized that, despite the anxiety and depression that have been near-constant companions to me in my life, I’m an optimist, but I know not every situation will work out for the best for everyone.
    • My take on priorities has shifted. I still accept people aren’t required to have the same (or even similar) views, but I understand better now that not everyone will approach differing points of view with respect or open-mindedness.

    What were my biggest challenges in 2020?

    6 of Wands (Reversed)

    • Coming to terms with my views of “We’re all in this together” directly conflicting with others seeing scenarios as “Us versus Them.”
    • Returning to my retail job and being confronted with hostility or outright aggression while trying to keep everyone safe and healthy. It was more difficult than I had anticipated.

    How did I develop as a person in 2020?

    7 of Swords (Reversed)

    I feel the biggest way I’ve developed as a person was accepting not everything needs to be compared in intensity, but I can work to fix issues where I see too much disparity. The fact that the wealthiest people in the world earned over $1 trillion while others lost jobs or homes, or worked dangerous jobs for not enough compensation, or were told any number of trite phrases by individuals totally out of touch with the experiences of the people they were discussing was appalling.

    How does this relate to the 7 of Swords (Reversed)?

    I’m going to be vocal about how much this upsets me! It’s not going to come from Erin in her ivory tower, who passes judgements while allowing others to bear the brunt of making changes. I may not have made a fortune during 2020, but I was certainly fortunate, and I can use that to help others. Working with others is important, too. Not only does the man in the card look smug, but he’s also acting alone. Getting all the glory and riches from his get-rich-quick heist will work for him by himself; we need a way for everyone to benefit from hard work.

    What did I learn in 2020?

    2 of Cups (Reversed)

    There’s more emotional friction right under the surface than is often acknowledged. Pasting a smile over seething rage isn’t healthy or sustainable.

    How would I describe 2020 in three words?

    Page of Swords (Reversed)

    ☼ eye-opening                                     ☼ disconnected                                    ☼ extreme

    Preview

    What aspects of 2020 can I leave behind?

    3 of Cups (Upright)

    My interpretation of this card may not fall in line with many books you’ll read, but this is where my intuition stepped in and tapped me on the head. When I looked at this picture, I felt like a spectator. I didn’t feel myself in the image at all. It truly felt like the card was a pane of glass, and I was looking at something I desperately wanted but couldn’t reach through the barrier. I need to leave behind my resentment of what I feel I don’t have, the fear of going for it, which leads to apathy and lack of action, and behaving like a bystander to my own life. I want to connect with the people and causes I care about and actively support them.

    What aspects of 2020 can I bring with me into 2021?

    2 of Wands (Upright)

    For 2021 I want to bring with me this momentum for wanting to effect change. I want to be resilient when things don’t immediately work out or I don’t receive instant gratification for my efforts. The focus needs to be on the importance of these issues changing properly, not always on my timeline.

    What new seeds and opportunities are being planted?

    King of Wands (Reversed)

    This is another card that tells me my heart and imagination are going faster than things will happen. I want the world to change for me, my family, and the world, but I can’t march in and say, “This is how things are now because I said so,” and everything will be exactly how I want it. Long-lasting change will need to be built on firm foundations, but the foundations need to be completed first. Don’t flame out!

    To sum it all up…

    Let’s be kind to each other and make 2021 a step to the future we want to see!

  • Musings and a bit of a Plug

    Happy Thursday!

    I admit it, I’ve been absent. There’s a part in “Harry Potter” where Dumbledore asks Harry if he ever feels as though he has too many thoughts in his head and Harry doesn’t understand. I don’t understand how Harry doesn’t understand. It feels like there are constantly too many thoughts, or feelings, or possibilities running through my mind. I don’t like using the word normal because it’s an adjective that feels too vague and too narrow at the same time. Who defines normal? Is normal subjective? What word should I use instead, though? So, to me, feeling like I have too much going on in my head is how I usually feel and I guess I’ve never given the concept of not dealing with that much thought because I didn’t realise it’s something people experience. When I feel this way it’s very easy for me to withdraw into myself and dwell on things that aren’t the way I would like them to be. Sometimes, too, I find focussing on one thing (that may not actually be as pressing as other items) is an act of avoidance in itself.

    Another big issue of mine is that I don’t trust myself. This has been one of my biggest hurdles in my esoteric studies because so much of reading tarot is trusting your intuition. For so long I relied on books about tarot that were filled with the meanings of the cards according to the author. The problem with that approach was these interpretations were based on others’ experiences with the cards. While there are certain elements that remain consistent (or at least similar) across decks and it can be helpful to understand why those images were used in the first place, no one lives the exact same life in the exact same way.

    I’ve previously posted about the 4 of Swords—to many people this card indicates a rest, but when I pull this card from some decks I feel almost a false sense of security. This interpretation for myself comes from my distaste for being left alone with my thoughts. Swords is the Air suit so it pertains to the mental realm. When I’m by myself, my mind races which is why I’m usually doing something to keep myself occupied. Even as I write this, I have the television on in the background.

    My birthday was about 3 weeks ago. I love the date of my birthday if that makes any sense. June 21st is often recognised as the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year and the one with the most hours of daylight. This puts me directly on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer (Mutable Air and Cardinal Water) and, while I know there’s more to a natal chart than just a Sun sign, I feel I have traits of both. If you were to draw up a natal chart for my date/time/place of birth, it would tell you I’m a Gemini because the transit of the Sun from Gemini into Cancer had not yet occurred, but I really feel like both.

    Where I’m going with this talk about Sun signs is my feelings about the suit of Swords; sometimes it’s as though I’m almost afraid of them. When I think about the pictures on the Rider Smith Waite deck (arguably the most famous deck and template for myriad others), there are only two or three cards, excluding the Court cards, I don’t feel anxious drawing. The two definite ones are the Ace and 6 while the 4 is one I’m still trying to come to terms with for my own sake. The Ace of Swords speaks to me of the potential of a new idea before putting it into action on the material plane—you’re hopeful and you don’t have to worry about annoying little things like the laws of physics or financial logistics. On the other hand, when I see the 6, I feel the alleviation of burdens—moving from choppy waters into smooth sailing.

    We all have different takes on what we see in the cards shaped by life events. I’ve heard a number of people have difficulties with The Hierophant because not everyone has positive associations with organised religion or other institutions. Others who have strong feelings about government or, in the broader sense, the patriarchy may take exception to The Emperor because it can often symbolise authority figures who may traditionally have been male.

    Having a mental connection to a card that is unique to me isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s what will make a reading with me different from a reading with anyone else. I simply worry that the relationship I have with a card or specific image may impact the message I’m interpreting for someone. That’s when I get the Querent to tell me what they see or feel when looking at the card.

    Just in case I don’t post again before Saturday, I will be at an event in Tweed, Ontario, that day with a number of other readers, artisans, and vendors. If you’re in the area you should drop by!

    Peace and balance,

    Erin

  • Am I a Professional Now?

    For some reason I have been putting off writing this post. I’m not sure why, but it keeps being moved down my to-do list and not being crossed off. There’s nothing I’m dreading about this—in fact I feel it’s going to be a very positive piece—it just hasn’t been written. Here we go!

    January 26 (a Saturday) I went to another psychic fair like the one I participated in in October. If you don’t remember or know how that one worked out you should read my post about it and how dejected I was feeling afterwards. I had a mixture of hope and fear for this second fair because I had hope with there being be fewer readers possibly helping me attract more clients tempered by remembering just how badly I felt the first one went. I had already paid for my table at the fair and, since I was more familiar with other people working the fair this time, I went and figured it would simply be another learning experience. It was a learning experience for sure! I had double the amount of paying customers I had the first time which was nice even though it was only four. But I feel as though the clients were the lesson versus the whole event.

    My first Querent was kind of a drag honestly, and a terrible way to start the day. She paid me for the reading and proceeded to sit across the table from me with her arms crossed and her lips zipped. I do not claim to be anything I don’t feel I am because I hate the idea of overpromising and underdelivering which means I usually start a reading with a bit of a spiel cum disclaimer where I say I am not a medium or a mind reader, and that I like to have a discussion with the people I’m reading for so I can give more relevant information. She wanted to tell me nothing and just see what I was able to come up with. I can tell you I came up with very little. I felt as though I was throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something would stick. It didn’t feel great and I was even thinking about giving her a refund because she said nothing was resonating with her. I wrapped up the reading and as I was about to offer her her money back she said “I don’t believe in this anyway.” In that moment I decided not to refund her because she received what she had paid for. I don’t ask for the people I read for to take what the cards or I say as gospel, but I do expect them to come with an open mind and be receptive to the energy going into the reading even if I’m totally wrong. I will admit when I’m wrong or if I’m not feeling what I’m seeing; I will do another spread if they want or if I feel it’s necessary. But to come in with no intention of being open to what could be conveyed is disappointing and actually makes me kind of angry because you’re wasting your time and even if you have paid me I feel it’s a waste of my time. I won’t lie, when she left my table I felt very upset and probably angry (I have trouble processing the feeling of anger).

    I sat with my emotions for a little while until the gentleman who was working the table across from mine came over. He was so nice and encouraging. He said he had overheard much of my reading with the first lady and I hadn’t done anything wrong. I really appreciated his words and he paid for a reading that was more on point than the previous one.

    One of the best readings I think I’ve ever done was the next reading I performed. My client was a woman who I think was about my age and it was a super positive reading where even the cards that were more negative made sense. The final card I drew in the reading was The Star which made me smile because she was so sweet and it was nice to end the reading on a positive note.

    My final reading was not as positive, but she came with a heavy heart and I think I gave her some good insights. The reading was over the 15-20 minute guideline given, I just really wanted to help her. At the end of the reading she cried so I feel like it was a good one.

    While I was at the fair I met a couple of women who wanted someone to come read at a party on Super Bowl Sunday. I don’t care about football so I gave them a price for 4-5 half hour readings and said I would love to be a part of their festivities. I heard from them pretty quickly and they decided to book me!

    The whole experience on Sunday was amazing! I had a great time doing the readings and they fed me some delicious things. I did spend more time there than I had anticipated which I think is because I still don’t value myself and my time as being worth much. I do not regret it, though, because they were lovely.

    My biggest disappointment was with myself because I feel after I ate dinner I didn’t give myself any time to centre myself and refocus my energy. The two readings I performed after eating went fine, but I had to do them both twice. I wasn’t connecting with what the cards were trying to tell me. Both ladies were fine with it and very patient with me, I just feel bad and unprofessional.

    There you have it, the post I kept putting off writing. If you can figure out what was blocking me from putting it into words you can have a cookie.

    Peace and balance,

    Erin

  • New Year’s Eve Reading

    Happy New Year!

    I did a reading for my year in review. I did not create this spread, but I liked it so I used it.

    1. What can I celebrate?: King of Cups
    2. What have I conjured?: Queen of Cups, Reversed
    3. What continues?: 3 of Cups
    4. How do I find balance and expression?: Knight of Swords
    5. What am I thinking?: 9 of Cups, Reversed
    6. What is my passion?: 8 of Cups, Reversed
    7. Where am I grounded?: 2 of Wands, Reversed
    8. What have I changed?: 4 of Cups, Reversed

    The first thing I notice is the prevalence of Cups cards which I think makes a lot of sense because I’m a very emotional person, and that seeps into every aspect of my life and interactions with my surroundings. Secondly, many of the cards are Reversed; in my opinion the significance of all the Reversed cards is that I spent a lot of time looking inward this year. I’m trying to find my passion and get back to who I was or find who I could be which is a very personal path to take.

    The first card I drew was the King of Cups answering the question “What can I celebrate?” To me, the King of Cups is a sign that things I have invested my emotions in have matured. In 2017 I had a new baby and my husband and I were trying to figure out how to parent and fit in other aspects of our lives. In 2018, on the other hand, we were a little surer in our abilities to keep a tiny human alive, and we were able to see how we can be suitable partners for each other while also fulfilling parenting roles. The King of Cups is Air of Water (Kings are associated with the element of Air and Cups is the suit of Water), which brings a sort of cerebral quality to the emotions. I’m not so much detached as able to step back from emotions and bring reason to them. The Queen of Cups, Reversed, in the “What have I conjured?” position sort of brings the point from the King of Cups home. I feel as though it reinforces the idea that I can feel my emotions, but I do not have to be at their mercy. I’ve conjured a more stable, balanced viewpoint for myself.

    I have the 3 of Cups in the “What continues?” position and it’s a really positive card there. What continues for me is my support system. There are so many amazing people in my life that contribute to my wellbeing. I just know this is a reminder to cultivate those relationships and appreciate them. This concept continues with the next card because I am certain this relates to my husband (one of my staunchest supporters). The Knight of Swords is how I find balance and expression. I’ve mentioned before that I am a very emotional person. Well, my husband is very analytical; he’s logical and people definitely say he has a good head on his shoulders. Does he balance out my impulsive, emotion-driven actions and thinking? Absolutely!

    The 9 of Cups, Reversed, does reflect what I’m thinking these days. This card can be considered the wish card. I have had so many blessings bestowed on me and I am trying to be more grateful for the gifts I have been given, but all I seem to be able to focus on is the negative. It is important for me to realize the amazing things and people I have in my life and not take them for granted. My passion is represented by the 8 of Cups, Reversed, and I interpret this as needing to get back to what I love or even just looking for something I love. In the card, there is a figure walking away from the goblets, but when it’s Reversed I think it could be returning to what stokes my emotions and interest. I think the 2 of Wands, Reversed, shows me that I am grounded in the past. If this card were Upright, I feel it would show me grounded in the future like the figure on the card looking out at what may come. I don’t believe being grounded in the past is a good thing because I am stuck there a lot of the time. I don’t want to live like that which I think ties in to my interpretation of the 9 of Cups, Reversed, where I need to be more grateful for what and who I have in my life. Finally, we come to what I have changed–the 4 of Cups, Reversed. I’m trying to interpret this one, but I feel like it’s more about what I need to change rather than what I have changed. Maybe it’s my mindset that has shifted and now I just need to walk the walk because I’ve been talking the talk. Here’s hoping to a positive 2019!!!

    Peace and balance,
    Erin

  • 8 of Wands, Reversed

    I drew the 8 of Wands, Reversed, this morning to see what it could tell me about my day. The 8 of Wands can mean blockage and even marital trouble. Honestly, I didn’t think it would be a good day, but luckily it didn’t go so badly.

    Astrologically the 8 of a Wands is affiliated with Mutable Fire, the sign of Sagittarius, which happens to be the sign the Sun is in this time of year. I have difficulty with Fire signs sometimes because they seem so different from who I am. Mutable I can understand—Mutable Gemini is one of signs I’m on the cusp of—but I think Fire is so passionate and lively that it’s foreign to me.

    My day did not play out as negatively as I thought it might when I drew this Reversed card. There was no big discord between myself and my husband which was my fear. The feeling of being blocked is not a stranger to me these days so I suppose that’s what the card was picking up on.

    I’m also wondering if the card is signifying the end of my funk is near. I wonder this because 8 is near the end of the sequence of numbers in the pip cards of the tarot. Sure, I’m hoping to not feel so lost and adrift in life, but the blocked sensation leaves me with a feeling both oppressively full of despair and strangely devoid of emotion.

    Here’s hoping tomorrow brings something a little clearer to interpret and more positive.

    Peace and balance,

    Erin

  • Reading for the Week

    Recently I’ve been having trouble connecting to things (people, activities, even possessions), but I need to start trying to connect with things that once brought me happiness or might bring me future happiness. I’m hoping by returning to the act of reading tarot cards I will rediscover the joy they used to bring me.
    Today I cast some cards for the week ahead of me. The very first thing I notice is the number of sevens in this spread—3 of 5 in the deck show up here—which makes me wonder if this could be a week where I assess, and perhaps re-calibrate, my spirituality. I feel like three sevens are meaningful in a spread devoted to the seven days of the week.
    Sunday: VII The Chariot
    Monday: 7 of Wands
    Tuesday: IX The Hermit, Reversed
    Wednesday: 9 of Pentacles
    Thursday: 2 of Wands, Reversed
    Friday: XIX The Sun, Reversed
    Saturday: 7 of Pentacles, Reversed
    Sunday’s Forecast: My first seven of the spread and it’s the Major Arcana seven; to me, this is a very good start for the week! The astrological affiliation of The Chariot is Cancer, and, if you’ve read anything else on here, you probably know my birthday is on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer. I feel very drawn to this card today and I think it’s because I’ve been withdrawing from life because I’ve been feeling unsafe in some aspects of my life lately. Crabs withdraw into their shells when they’re threatened and that’s what I’ve been doing, however The Chariot makes me think of coming home where I feel protected, but can do things that empower me. I hope Sunday brings me the knowledge that I am safe and can do what I need to do in order to repair myself.
    Monday’s Forecast: The 7 of Wands as Monday’s card makes me dread Monday a little more than I usually dread Mondays. I go to work Monday afternoon which means my daughter goes to daycare, and both of those scenarios make me more than a little nervous. Our daycare provider is lovely! I’m so glad we found her, but I feel like I’m constantly doing things that inconvenience her. I doubt there are many people who enjoy upsetting people, but it physically affects me—I get headaches, stomachaches, I am constantly close to tears, etc. I think I’m scared that one day I will push her past her tolerance with me, and then I won’t have a daycare provider, and that will lead to my not being able to go to work, and I’ll be fired. See? That’s how my mind spins out. Although, I’m not sure being fired would be the worst thing to happen to me now that I think about it. I like my job, I just find it stressful and I’m not certain how stressful a part-time job should be, you know? Anyway, the 7 of Wands makes me wonder if Monday will be a day where I butt heads with someone and I will be unprepared for it. It’s interesting to me that I’m looking at the figure’s mismatched shoes because I work at a shoe store. Hopefully I won’t end up giving someone two totally wrong shoes!
    Tuesday’s Forecast: I drew The Hermit, Reversed, for Tuesday. Maybe I should invite someone over to the house? I like The Hermit in its Upright and Reversed positions for very different reasons. Upright it’s nice to get in touch with your spirituality, but Reversed makes me think of putting yourself out there and forging relationships with other people. It builds on the message of The Chariot in that I can feel safe to get out there and be social while knowing I have somewhere secure to go back to when my energy is spent.
    Wednesday’s Forecast: The second 9 of the spread—the 9 of Pentacles. Personally, I love this card and rejoice when it comes up for me because it gives me this impression of an independent woman who can tend to her garden and her hawk and still take care of herself. I don’t think of myself as a particularly independent person. I often rely on others for help and I would rather not taking a leading role much of the time. It’s based in fear again, I know it. If I put my all into something and it fails somehow, I feel like I have failed as a person. I would like for Wednesday to bring me more confidence in myself and my actions so when I go back to work on Thursday I’m not a frightened mass of pudding.
    Thursday’s Forecast: The 2 of Wands is the card I drew for Thursday. This is another card I like, but I think I like it better Reversed in this spread. I feel as though in the Upright position it’s about waiting for something and I’m tired of feeling like I’m waiting for something. I don’t even know what I’m waiting for anymore—is it approval? I know worrying about the future robs you of your present, and I’m always worrying about what could/will happen. However, with the Reversed appearance, I think about not waiting any longer. It makes me think things are happening, not just being anticipated. Hopefully what happens is good. *Edit to add: I’m reading about the 2 of Wands right now and rethinking my interpretation. I seem to have mixed up the Upright and Reversed meanings in my head. Which is fine–the cards can be interpreted however they strike you–I’m just wondering what it would look like if I had read the card as a delay in plans. Perhaps it would look more like going into work on Thursday and continuing to feel like I’m walking on eggshells. Not the most positive of interpretations, but maybe a more realistic one…*
    Friday’s Forecast: Another card in its Reversed position for Friday. The Sun, Reversed, has me thinking about The Moon if you can believe it. Sometimes when interpreting Reversed cards, it can be helpful to return to the lesson of the previous card which, in this case, is XVIII The Moon. I looked up what the lunar phase will be in my area on Friday and it’s the New Moon which is a perfect time to start something new and raise attractive energy. Maybe I should start something I’ve been putting off for a while. I always have high hopes for starting something new, but I usually end up putting ridiculous restrictions around it and missing the opportunity because it (or I) didn’t live up to expectations.
    Saturday’s Forecast: Here we have my final seven. The 7 of Pentacles, Reversed, is kind of a hard card for me to interpret. Often, I find myself unable to translate the expression on the gardener’s face. Is he bored? Or tired of working so hard? Or maybe he’s just standing back and allowing his crop to grow? I don’t know. If we go by a numerological interpretation of the number seven, he seems to be assessing what he has put his energy in to. But is he giving himself a passing grade or a failing one? Some keywords I have found for this card include shortsightedness and success that is limited. What kind of success am I looking for right now? If I start something Friday, of course my success will be limited… Hmmm… I’m noticing the mountains in the background of the card, maybe the success I’m looking for on Saturday will be limited because I still have the mountains to scale. Perseverance will be something to cultivate. Perseverance is not always my strong suit, but it would be good to learn.
    Looks like I have a dramatic week ahead of me (aren’t they all with me, though?), but if I remember that I am safe I can work through obstacles that come up even if the payout isn’t immediate.
    Peace and balance,

    Erin

  • 7 Card Spread

    I did a seven card spread last night because I’m trying to find my passions and strengths. I’ve been feeling blocked these past few weeks, but I hope getting back into things will reignite my spark. I deliberately did not use any Reversed cards in this spread.

    1. How am I tenacious: XV The Devil
    2. How am I dangerous: 7 of Cups
    3. What helps me find graciousness: 8 of Cups
    4. How am I gallant: VII The Chariot
    5. What makes me a survivor: The World
    6. What tears me apart: V The Hierophant
    7. What endures: I The Magician

    I notice there are a lot of Major Arcana cards in this spread which makes sense to me because I need to find my passion for things again in order to make my life feel more complete.

    My tenacity comes from The Devil which may feel immediately discouraging because who really wants to feel like The Devil. However, my interpretation in this spread is my bondedness is where my tenacity is rooted. I want to say something along the lines of “I make commitments, and I stick to them, and these are my bonds,” but this is not true. I think it’s more along the lines of being bonded to people and earthly pleasures. What makes me tenacious is I am free to be as flighty and airy in my pursuits as I want because of my attachment to the earthly plane. The 7 of Cups as my danger is totally appropriate tied in with The Devil—my mind goes off in so many directions it’s hard to know where to draw the line of what is possible for me to do and what is not. While I love being cerebral as well as imaginative, it can be dangerous to follow every whim, so it is wonderfully balanced by The Devil.

    The 8 of Cups helps me find graciousness while The Chariot feeds my gallantness. I almost wish these cards could be switched, but I have to take what I’ve been dealt. In the 8 of Cups, the figure is walking away from the goblets, and I think this resonates with me because sometimes I can be overbearing, and walking away from situations is the best option to maintain my graciousness. With The Chariot, my courteousness comes from my home and relationships. Cancer is the astrological affiliation of this card and I have an affinity for it because I’m on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer. I am able to be polite and well-mannered because my parents instilled those values in me, but also because I know I have support.

    The final three cards are all Major Arcana. I’m not surprised The Hierophant “tears me apart.” I see the Hierophant as the status quo and conforming, and I have never fit in well. Trying to meet others’ expectations whether real or perceived has done me real harm in my life, so this card is accurate. My world makes me a survivor. This is a theme that flows through the reading, no? My home, my family, what grounds me all help me survive. As for “what endures,” The Magician, is another accurate card. He is affiliated with Mercury, the ruler of Gemini. With Mercury in my corner, I know my love for learning and trying to understand will endure. I also note that in The World and The Magician cards both figures are holding wands which kind of unites them for me. To me, it shows that what “makes me a survivor” and “what endures” are linked.

     

    Peace and balance,

    Erin