So, the title may be both slightly premature and optimistic, but I’m wanting and needing a new perspective.

After I graduated, this month lost its significance in my life. It still doesn’t have quite the same impact as it once did because my child isn’t in the school system yet, however, this could be the year to change that. I’ve been giving it thought lately to restore its significance to my mind.

I lived for back-to-school shopping; the feeling of writing on a fresh page of a brand new notebook remains one of the most satisfying sensations for me. It got to a point, honestly, where I was loath to use a scribbler more than three quarters because the feeling just wasn’t the same. The start of a new school year seemed like writing in a new book.

With the current state of the world and how it’s impacted my life, the days (and weeks, and months) run together. I’ve gone through phases I know I’m not the only one to experience.

  1. Oh my gosh, the world is shutting down, and I have no idea what is going to happen! (This one is also a pervasive undercurrent for all phases…)
  2. Free time! I have so much free time to learn a new language/skill, implement a new routine, get on top of all the things I’ve been letting slide forever! Plus, so much family time!
  3. I want to do nothing. Nothing has changed, and it’s been so long (But has it? What even is time?), and I want to go out!
  4. I need to do something–anything! Look, I understand I’m in an extremely privileged position compared to a lot of people, but I’m getting cabin fever. Knowing both those things is causing me so much guilt and makes me feel apathetic.

I’ve been cycling through those phases since March. Sometimes it’s one more than the others and sometimes i’s all of them in equal measure at once. By now, I’m so over myself that I’m going to focus on September 2020 being my new notebook and using my tarot cards as my favourite pen.

selective focus photography of several people cheering wine glasses
Photo by cottonbro on

I did a reading for myself asking what I should lose, what I should hold onto, and what I should bring into my life in September. It gave me some really helpful insight for my life. The biggest takeaway for me was the lack of Swords and Cups cards. This tells me I need to untangle my head and my heart, get out of my own way, and just take action.

Let me know if September is going to be your new notebook (or your metaphor of choice) and what you’re going to put into action!

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